Today, my cooperating teacher was out because she had some personal matters to take care of during the school day. Since the kids were virtual today, though, we did not need to get a substitute teacher for the class, and I could just teach the class from home. Whilst the co-teacher was there for part of the day, she was not there for an hour in the first class and an hour in the second class. As for the other hours she was in the classroom, she took some of the students into a breakout room while I stayed with the rest of the class in the main room on Zoom.
Of course, my students noticed that I was the only teacher present; in fact, one of my students pointed out that I could be a “real” teacher today. I laughed and asked what he meant because I have been a “real” teacher every day minus the first few days with this class and have managed all of the responsibilities including lesson planning, grading, and communication. This student then proceeded to mention that it was like I was genuinely a “real” teacher today due to the fact that “now you’re the only one so you have to make smart decisions without help”. This student’s statement simultaneously made me chuckle and think about what it honestly means to be a teacher on my own. Up to this point, I have had two other teachers constantly monitoring me and offering suggestions as needed. In other words, they were there to fall back on, but one day I would be alone in a classroom without someone else to make “smart decisions” with. It has been a challenge for me to feel confident enough in myself that I can be a teacher on my own next school year after I graduate this May, but today I had to prove to myself whether I could truly do this. Throughout the day, there were times when students were off task, dealing with technology issues, and downright ignoring me because they likely walked away from their computers. On the contrary, I dealt with each issue as it came, and God gave me the confidence level that I needed to make the choices I needed to. I am sure I will have more times when I doubt myself as an educator, but today I proved to myself that I can “make smart decisions without help”.
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AuthorKelsey Hayes is a student teacher finishing up her Senior year at Regent University. Through this blog, Kelsey Hayes will share the raw, honest truth about teaching and how both its joys and challenges motivate her to continue pursuing teaching. Archives
April 2021
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